Helpful Hiding

You may have noticed, I’ve been silent for a few months. 

Initially, I planned to take a one or two-week break from writing. I was attending a conference and wanted to engage fully. But two weeks quickly turned into two months. At first, I felt guilty, but then I realized there is a time for quiet.

In our constant working and pressing forward, sometimes we forget that withdrawal can be a good thing. There are appropriate times to rest, reflect, and reset. And those times are not only necessary, but often they are God-ordained. 

In my personal study, I have been reading through the book of Ecclesiastics. Over and again, I found myself coming back to the pondering of chapter 3. While these words are well known to most of us, somehow, I still need to take them in – to truly digest and apply them. 

There is a time for every event under heaven – 
A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance. 
A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
A time to love and time to hate;
A time for war and time for peace. Ecclesiastics 3:1-8 NASB

We gravitate toward and celebrate the positive. We like the time of birth, healing, building up, gathering, and speaking. But, my friends, there is a time for everything – including mourning, tearing down, giving up as lost, and silence. Just as we embrace that which we love and desire, we need to embrace that which is difficult. 

Over the past few months, I needed God to mend some broken places in my life. I needed His help to mourn some losses, let go of what I cannot control, and prepare for a new work. As much I would love to have the ability to multi-task that deep work with continuous output, it turns out that in order to grow, I needed to pause. 

During this time, I wrestled with many questions – Am I running away? Am I letting people down? Am I missing an opportunity to live out my calling? Am I too self-focused? Am I allowing fear to take hold? Am I missing out?

In the midst of my questions, I was introduced to a new concept – helpful hiding. In his book Hiding from love: How to change the withdrawal patterns that isolate and imprison you, Dr. John Townsend explores both helpful and unhealthy hiding patterns. He explains, “Isolation and withdrawal are not the same thing. To isolate is to remove oneself from a relationship – to move into emotional and spiritual emptiness. It has a permanent component. Withdrawal, however, is a temporary distancing so that the heart can regroup itself to reattach.”

Isolation is unhealthy, moving us toward self-focus and away from relationships. Withdrawal is healthy, moving us toward healing and a stronger relationship with God and people. 

Maybe today, you need to practice some helpful hiding to find peace and healing. If so, know that God ordains times of pulling back and regrouping. He is in the waiting, in mourning, and in your pain. And He is inviting you to press into Him. 

Listen to the words of Jesus:

Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest awhile. Mark 6:31

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:3-4

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28