One Critical Step to Building Deeper Friendships

I remember thinking I wasn’t good at making friends.  I’d watch other people connecting and it seemed so natural.  They seemed to know how to make conversation, enjoyed spending time together, and knew how to win others over.  And from my perspective, I wasn’t good at any of that.

While it may be true that to some personalities making friends comes more naturally, I have learned that building strong friendships is something we all have the ability to do.  But I have also learned that cultivating friendship is something we all have to choose to focus on.  A good friendship doesn’t come out of nowhere and rarely does it happen overnight. Instead, it is built and developed intentionally.

I have found that one of the simplest and most important things you can do to build friendships is to serve God together.

When you serve God alongside someone else, you have a connection through God’s Spirit, you are able to accomplish something of significance together, and more often than not you break down barriers as you find common ground.

Serving is what we were designed for. You and I were created to live out God’s design and purpose.  We were created to serve and follow God’s plan, and that plan is much bigger than we are.

Serving God is not a solo adventure.  We need each other.  We can never accomplish God’s purpose on our own.

I believe one of the reasons we struggle to have deep connections with people is we think of friendship as something we need to schedule.  While it is great to plan to spend time with friends, if your friendships are limited to times for having coffee, hanging out, or just having fun, you are missing out on deeper connections. Your friends should be on mission together with you.  They should be helping you grow into the man or woman God has called you to be.

Recently, I was reading through Romans and really noticed the last chapter, chapter 16.  This is not usually a part of Bible I spend a lot of time studying or thinking about because it is full of names.  For me, the names are people I know very little about, but for the apostle Paul, these were names were very personal.  These were the invaluable people who Paul served God together with.

Here are a few things Paul notes about his various friends:

• They helped each other in any way that was needed
• They risked their lives for each other
• They worked very hard
• They were outstanding in their reputation
• They were deeply loved by God and by Paul

The early church was built by men and women who served together. Their serving created unity and love.  The same is true for us.  When we serve God side by side with other believers amazing things happen for God’s kingdom, amazing things happen in us, and amazing bonds are built between us.

In the past few months, I have traveled to Cuba twice and Mexico once with teams from my church.  Each time I travel I am amazed at the way God has gifted His people.  I am struck by the mission God gives us and the way He uses our teams to fulfill it.  God puts the right people together for the right task. Individually we can do some things, but together we experience another level of God’s anointing and outpouring.

As much as I love seeing God work through the people from my church, what was most struck by on these trips is the power of our church from Charlottesville, VA serving with the church of Cuba or Mexico.  Side by side, loving and worshiping the same God, listening to His voice, and serving Him together is truly amazing beyond on words.

Serving God together breaks down the barriers of distance, culture, and personality.

If you want to get to know new people, build deeper relationships, and be challenged in your faith – starting serving together.  Join a team, go on a mission trip, serve your community, or do a project together.  Whatever you do, don’t miss out on the adventure of serving God together.  It will not only impact the world, it will change your life.